http://thevaluesvoter.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!F3D4C1BC1D8B0D91!1166.entry
Do you think that it's impossible for politicians to give you even less respect than they have for you now? Of course they can! And by following these steps, you can go from Joe Citizen to Joe Nobody in no time!
I present to you my seven-step program for becoming totally irrelevant as a voter.
Step 1: Commit unconditionallyThe first thing you need to do is realize that are no covenant relationships in life more sacred than marriage and political party affiliation. You have to make a decision here. What's more important to you - your undying commitment to always vote for politicians of a particular party or the issues that drew you to that party in the first place? The issues? Wrong! You must get rid of this type of thinking if you want to go further along the path to irrelevancy.
Make a decision this morning that no matter what happens, you are going to vote for whoever your party sends your way. Are you a pro-lifer and say you wouldn't vote Republican if that Party adopts late-term abortion into the party platform? An environmentalist who won't vote Democratic if they start pushing for more nukes and fewer trees? Get out of that way of thinking. Decide that no matter what, you are going to always do what the party says to do. How else are the politicians going to sleep easy at night knowing that their jobs are safe?
Step 2: Complain but don't abstainNow that you've made it to the next step, you have to accept the fact that the issues that are important to you may not always be important to the party. When your party knows that you can be counted on to vote for them no matter what, they tend to shift around to try to please those losers who don't have the high sense of commitment that you do. Don't be discouraged - it's natural. Remember, the issues that made you want to join the party may not be dealt with now. The party could even be starting to work against them. But you must continue to vote for the team - remember your commitment from Step 1?
Which is more important? The issues that you have deep conviction about or the commitment to do whatever is in the best interests of the team? Your issues? Wrong! You have to stop being so selfish if you want to get nowhere. Be a team player - even if the playbook calls for throwing an interception. The really important thing is that you're part of the team and if you promise to always stay in line, then possibly ... maybe ... eventually, one day far in the future, those issues might get dealt with. Don't ever forget that.
Step 3: Stand aloneWhen you become known for being an unconditional team player, you will notice that at the same time your party begins to take you for granted, the opposing party begins to care even less about you and your issues. At the same time that your party learns that they can't lose your vote no matter what they do, the other party learns that they can't get your vote no matter what they do. And as a result, neither side has any sincere interest in doing anything for you or the things you care about. And about this time, you might start to feel discouraged and lonely. But I'm telling you that your loneliness and isolation are a badge of honor. For your party, that is. Just hang in there.
The feeling of having your issues ignored is the price to pay for the noble cause of deciding that neither death nor life nor issues nor principles nor the quality of the candidates nor any other important thing will separate you from your party. Don't feel bad. Take pride. Not everybody could do what you do. You are almost half way to the cliff ... er ... to the other side. Hang in there.
Step 4: Listen to smart peopleWhile you're being patient and undemanding, you also need to remember to relax and not work too hard yourself. Instead of spending your valuable free time researching candidates and their positions and coming up with your own opinions of them, you need to delegate this type of thing and trust the people who really know. Does a politician who is on your team say that you should vote for somebody? Hello? Then vote for them. This must be a good person. Why else would your elected official ever tell you to vote for them?
And you really need to start paying attention to the smart people in the media. Get all your information from them and don't question it. These people are here to protect you and your team from the evils that you face if you don't accept every word they tell you without doubting or hesitation. These people wouldn't be on the air if they weren't both really smart and really honest, right?
Step 5: Beware the boogeymanBy this point in our program, most people become discouraged and start to question the benefits of always doing whatever the party says to do no matter what. And I've got a good answer for you that has nothing to do with who you're voting for at all. Look over there - to the other side. Do you see that person who scares you? That, my friend, is the boogeyman. Are you frightened? Good! Now, get back in line!
Remembering that the boogeyman is out there is a good technique for keeping you focused on things other than the fact that your party takes you for granted, ignores or even works against your deeply held convictions and that you may even be mindlessly doing what other people have told you to do. Forget all that. Just worry about the real problem. You may not totally like your party any more, but at least they're still better than the boogeyman's party. Of course, if the opposing party thought they had a chance in the world of getting your vote, they might not have picked the boogeyman either. But that's neither here or there. Just focus and remember that you've almost made it to where you don't want to be.
Step 6: Toughen upYou may notice at this stage that your party is getting bolder and bolder in their disrespect toward you. They are openly flaunting people and positions that you've told them over and over that you oppose. They smile at you, nod their heads, and then push them even harder. They know and you know that you're not really going to do anything different this year than you've always done - especially not with the boogeyman out there. Your party has turned into what the opposing party was 15 years ago and is treating you in the same disrespectful manner. But this is where you have to show your true team player grit and toughen up a bit. Stop whining. You need to get with the program - their program.
Look at it this way. You're special. Not everyone could tolerate the disrespect that you take year in and year out for the good of the team. Those Independent voters who are coveted and actively courted by both parties certainly wouldn't. You don't want to end up like them, do you?
Step 7: Look in the mirrorYou, my friend, have completed a long journey. You have shown that you have the ability to stick in there and honor your commitment under the toughest of conditions. You are a faithful member of your party, even though your unwillingness to set any boundaries whatsoever created the complacent atmosphere that encouraged your party to stray far from you. None of the issues that you have been passionate about have been dealt with. Your party feels no need to address any of the issues that are important to the faithful family members but has a fire lit under them to reach out to those less discriminating strangers.
The other thing you notice now is the fact that nobody takes you seriously as someone whose vote should be courted. Not your side or the other. Everybody knows exactly who you're going to pull the lever for and the rough percentage margin that your group will pull it. And instead of being in this political relationship because of love, you remain in it because of fear, because the other party, which has been emboldened to go even further against your interests because they know they'll never attract you, is looming out there as the sole alternative. You feel pretty useless as a voter, knowing that your steadfastness has helped many politicians to get away with doing almost nothing for you.
You have completed the seven-step program and are now an Unimportant Voter. Congratulations!! Your unwavering commitment has certainly paid off for somebody.
On the bright side, though, you've finally been invited to one of those VIP fundraiser events. Got your wallet handy?